She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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