Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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