She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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