since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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