All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
