If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize