i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
