i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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