you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
