haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
