the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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