I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
