I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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