I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I had to cum in my sink.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize