So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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