it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
