You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
