i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you would pick up someone in the library
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
