I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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