You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
