WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am puke
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
