yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
