WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
