I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize