just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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