on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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