i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
