My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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