Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
His nipple licking is glorious
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
