All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
