It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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