did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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