Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
