What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
