is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
