I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
