I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
