when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
