That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize