i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
