I wannas sexs uuuuu
only if we run a train.
done.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize