I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
