No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
