He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
