I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
