Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
