Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
