Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
