he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
