My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
