I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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