we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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