Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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