i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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