I'm lost and stupid without you.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
