saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize