I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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