Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
