I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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