i think my tv is drunk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
