they need to just BURY HIM!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
there is glitter all over my balls
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