Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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