Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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