I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
