Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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