the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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