Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
