Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
