no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
