I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just blew my weed a kiss
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
