How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
