Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
