Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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