so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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