She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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