no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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