It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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