you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
